Like, I’m barely… My parents, my family… I’m Catholic because my family is, but I don’t know a lot.
When people find out I’m Catholic, they love asking me questions. Don't Call 'Matthias & Maxime' A "Return" For Director Xavier Dolan
That’s my team.
Kate Winslet's Movie Love Interests (If They Were Sandwiches) And she’s typing, typing, whatever. Everything. We had a really big, bad gang problem. People don’t realize, when you grow up poor, you don’t learn how to eat right, because it’s not about eating right, it’s about eating. “Rico Suave.” I thought I was fucking guessing good on that one. My friends tell me all the time, they say the same thing, “Switch teams, you gotta switch teams.” That’s my team!
For being so weak. Because if you bought a CD that was a one-hit wonder, you’re like, “Fuck!” You never get over it! So they gotta go with what they know, you know? I walked in. There was no Santa Claus in her village.
She hated everyone, you know? “Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah.” I’m like, “Look, I’m sorry. And I was like… “I love you.
You guys, I went to a store called Lululemon. 'Phineas and Ferb' Creators Discuss 'Candace Against the Universe' — and the Possibility of More Sequels “Hey! The other day, you guys, I popped it in. We’re not stupid.
I am Santa Claus. “Oh!” “You’re still here?” “Uh-huh!” That woman… lived for another year.
Like, if I light a candle and pray… I can put it on. Here’s a thing you gotta know about me.
They reunited, right? Ooh! Speaking of Trump, his perma-tan also allows Alonzo to note the ironic hypocrisy of white folk making their skin darker, while darker-skinned people wish they were a lighter shade for that job interview. Bye!” Lupita’s like, “Can I get a green card?” “Hell, no! You walk down the aisle, it’s like Ancestry.com for cows. “Mija, what did you say about the McRib?” I loved that show.
Like, you know?
You know?
We started legalizing weed before immigrants.
It’s the internet but in books. They’re thin. CRISTELA ALONZO: LOWER CLASSY (2017) – Full Transcript. You’re like, “Oh, I’m gonna make up some shit about Japan!
Rappers make it rain champagne, I make it rain penicillin. You know, it’s weird, in your 30s, you’re not old, but you realize in your 30s, every year you start realizing there’s one thing every year you can’t really do any more, you know? Okay, so the other day, I was texting my sister. You show up, it’s gone. I love it! 'Lovecraft Country': Watch the First Episode for Free on YouTube and HBO You get fired from a job, “Why did you get fired? Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. They never get mad.
A couple of months ago, I was taking a shower, I had my iPod on shuffle, loving life.
I was gonna be the maid on their tour bus. Stream It Or Skip It: 'Dark Forces' On Netflix, A Mexican Horror Film That's Not Very Scary And Pretty Confusing And I text her, I’m like, “Hey, pendeja.” She writes back, “Why did you call me a pencil?” “Fuck me!” “You’re, like, all stupid. How to Watch the 'Unfit' Trump Documentary When It Drops Stream It Or Skip It: 'The Roads Not Taken' on Hulu, a Mournful Portrait of a Man in the Throes of Dementia When I was in fourth grade, I realized I was poor because I was a really big fan of New Kids On The Block. Now, I don’t even want this bag.” “I’m buying this bag because I’ve got the money to buy this bag.
Healthy food is so expensive.
Why did you lose?” “Well, shit, the other team scored more.
Orange juice! And it sucks when you text in another language. Cuatro.
I keep a gallon of it in the fridge in case there’s a power outage. People are passionate about sports.
For those of you that don’t know, pendeja is a term of endearment. I don’t have a lot of girlfriends.
Garcelle Beauvais on The "Warning" Lisa Rinna Gave Her At The 'RHOBH' Reunion I didn’t know anybody. It became the most depressing shower I’ve ever had!
It’s insane, you know? I like football. And, you know, for some people, my experience isn’t their Latino experience. I live in LA. Not everyone clapped. They’re checking my credit.” I started walking around the store.
And they’re always in the middle of the funniest thing you’re watching.